SEE YOUR BREASTS
(To the tune of: Be Our Guest by Alan Menken & Howard Ashman)

See your breasts
See your breasts
Take off your shirt, take off your vest
Pull your bra over your neck, cherie
And then take off the rest

Big or small
High or low
Release the twins, give us a show
Lick your nipples, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask those bitches!

Jump up and down
While you flash
After all, miss, this is hash
And the boobies here are never second best

Go on, it's no big deal
Take off your clothes and we'll
See your breasts
See your breasts
See your breasts 		UNDER MY PEE
(To the tune of: Under the Sea by Alan Menken & Howard Ashman)

I'm always a little nervous
When I go on a first date
They've no idea what I'm thinkin'
So I just stare at my plate
No pause in the conversation
We could just talk for hours
Wish I could tell them to shut up
Let's get to the golden showers!

Under my pee
Under my pee
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me

Vanilla sex makes me frown frown
Go on and chug it like a down down
Baby you are alluring
So enjoy my urine!
Under my pee 		FRIEND IN ME
(To the tune of: Friend Like Me by Robin Williams)

Well Ali Qaeda had them 72 virgins
Ghengis Khan deflowered a thousand chicks
But master you in luck cause up my butt
You got a land that's never seen no dicks
I want some semen in my cornhole now
Some sticky ammunition in my ass
I want some spunk, jiz, sperm, white goo and how
And all you gotta do is not come too fast
Then I'll say, "Master <insert name>, sir, what will your pleasure be?"
I'll take it right, it's oh so tight
I ain't never had a friend in me
Life's for experiments and you've got major D
So take my chocolate covered cherry
I ain't never had a friend in me
YOU WILL HARE LIVE
(To the tune of: I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor)

At first you were afraid
You were petrified
Kept thinkin' you'd turn your head to see the pack's right by your side

So you prelaid all your trails even though you knows it's wrong
But your legs are strong
And you can lay a trail long

And so you're back
Ready to race
You've scoped the pack, you're pretty sure that we can't match your pace

You've got flour in a bottle
And beer socks pulled to your knees
And in sixty nine more seconds you'll be lost among the trees

Go on now go
Go be a hare
You better run your fuckin' ass off because we're itchin' to snare

You really thought you'd trick us by layin' checks all over town
We may have stumbled
But your pants are still comin' down

Oh yeah you, you will hare live
If you don't get scared and run into traffic I know you'll stay alive

You've got lots more trails to lay
You can try again next [Monday]
You will hare live
You will hare live
Down down 		THE POOPIE
(To the tune of: Shipoopi from The Music Man)

When you find a nice chick that'll suck your dick,
She's certainly a keeper.
But a better girl spreads her lips, let's you stick in the tip,
Then tells you to go deeper.
But a woman who stops, pulls it out of her mound,
Turns around, puts her hands on the ground!
That's the hole you'll be glad you've found!
That's the poopie!
The poopie! The poopie! The poopie!
The hole that's hard to get!
The poopie! The poopie! The poopie!
The hole that don't get wet! 		HE'LL CUM ON MY TATAS
(To the tune of: Hakuna Matata by Elton John & Tim Rice)

He'll cum on my tatas
In you all I confide
He'll cum on my tatas
For me a great source of pride

It means no babies
Unless semen spills inside

Go on a stroking fritz
And you'll have soaking tits

He'll cum on my tatas
MOTORBOATIN'
(To the tune of: Proud Mary by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

I'm thinkin' about [hasher]'s titties
While I'm playing with hand every night and day
And when she is changin' I'm peepin'
Tryin' to get a look at those titties again

In water those babies are floatin'
And I be motorboatin'

Cummin'!
Woo!
Cummin'!
Woo!
Cummin' on those titties 		ASS TO MOUTH
(To the tune of: Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes

When we're done hashin' I'll fuck your butt
And you better watch out
Cause it's wicked tight and I just might
Go from ass to mouth

Lemme go on
And fill your mouth with cum
Lemme go on
It tastes just like your bum
IF YOU'RE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT
(To the tune of: If You're Happy And You Know It by Dr. Alfred B. Smith)

If you're happy and I know it, you're a dude
If you're happy and I know it, you're a dude
If you're happy and I know it, then your pants will surely show it
If you're happy and I know it, you're a dude

If you're happy and a girl, let me check
If you're happy and a girl, let me check
If you're happy and a girl, let my fingers have a twirl
If you're happy and a girl, let me check

If I'm happy and you're free, suck my dick
If I'm happy and you're free, suck my dick
If I'm happy and you're free, and your name's Kimochi E
If I'm happy and you're free, suck my dick 		BANGEDYOMAMA
(To the tune of: I Love The Mountains)

I love the mountains
I love the ass below
I love the way she sucks
I love the way she blows

I love all the things she do
And that she gave birth to you

I bangedyomama, bangedyomama,
Bangedyomama, bangedyomama 		THE DICK THAT NEVER ENDS
(To the tune of: The Song That Never Ends by Norman Martin)

This is the dick that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friend
Some people started sucking it
Not knowing what it was
And they'll continue sucking it
Forever just because

[repeat]
THE ITSY BITSY PENIS
(To the tune of: The Itsy Bitsy Spider)

The itsy bitsy penis went in the hasher's mouth
A lick or two or three and the hasher spit it out
Then he flipped it over and stuck it in her bum
And a pound or two or three and he filled her full of cum 		SHAKUHACHI GIRL
(To the tune of: ?)

When he gets that shaku-itch
She gets on her shaku-knees
In the morning shaku-sun
In the silky shaku-sheets
He's ready to shaku-go
She'll shaku-rock his fuckin' world
Cause he's a shaku-shichi guy
And she's a shaku-hachi girl
YARIBEN
(To the tune of: ?)

I have a beer buddy
His name is Yariben
I say I need a beer
He says where and when
How 'bout now at Brimmer
Then maybe Watering Hole
Craftheads, Aldgate
I think we're on a roll
These days the story's changed
I think I'm gonna cry
That fucker moved to Yemen
And left me high and dry 		DAVY COCK-IT
(To the tune of: ?)

Davy Cock-It
Dave-Davy Cock-It
Davy Cock-It
Dave-Davy Cock-It

He's got four eyes
And only one nut
He gets on all fours
And takes it up the
Davy Cock-It
Dave-Davy Cock-It 		SHIT ON MY FACE
(To the tune of: Sit On My Face)

Shit on my face
And tell me that it's brownies
Shit on my face
And tell me that it's fudge
Shit on my face
And you'll never see me frowning
Cause your shit on my face
Tastes just like true love
WHERE WERE YOU LAST WEEK
(To the tune of: ?)

Where, oh, where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat, lazy bastard
You weren't even here
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer

Down, down, drink it all down
Drink it all down
Drink all of that beer
You fat, lazy bastard
You weren't even here
So we drank all the virgins and fucked all the beer 		I MASTURBATED
(To the tune of: I Wanna Be Sedated by The Ramones)

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours ago, I masturbated.
No one to do, not even a ho, so I masturbated.
Just grabbed me some kleenex, and a magazine.
Sitting in my chair, I’m gonna leave a sticky scene.
My face has gone all twitchy, I’m gonna show my "O".
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, OH!
Down down dow-down, down, down, dow-down, I masturbated! 		I RAN THE HASH
(To the tune of: I Fought The Law by The Clash)

Running trail in the hot sun,
I ran the hash and the hash won!
I ran the hash and the hash won!
I needed beer but there was none!
I ran the hash and the hash won!
I ran the hash and the hash won!
I solved no checks and it feels so bad,
Guess I’m dead fucking last!
This is the worst trail that I’ve ever ran,
I ran the hash and the hash won!
I ran the hash and the...
EL CAMINO
(To the tune of: ?)

El camino
El el camino
El camino
El el camino

The front is a car
The back is a truck
The front is where you drive
The back is where you
El camino
El el camino 		HIS ONE SKIN
(To the tune of: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)

His one skin hangs down to his two skin
His two skin hangs down to his three
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin
His foreskin hangs down to his knees
Roll back, roll back
Roll back your foreskin for me, for me
Roll back, roll back
Roll back your foreskin for me 		INCEST TIME IN TEXAS
(To the tune of: Yellow Rose Of Texas)

When it’s incest time in Texas,
And there’s no cunt to be found,
Your mother’s in the bathroom,
Her panties halfway down,
No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!
HER LEFT TIT
(To the tune of: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)

Her left tit hangs down to her belly
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit did equal her right tit
She'd get lots of weenie from me 		SHE LIKES IT IN THE KITCHEN
(To the tune of: ?)

She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
Kitchen's code for butt 		MRS. MURPHY
(To the tune of: ?)

Take it in your hand Mrs. Murphy
It only weighs a quarter of a pound
It's got hair on its neck like a turkey
And it spits when you shake it up
And down, down, down
THE OLD BROWN COW
(To the tune of: The Old Gray Mare)

The old brown cow went
[pfft] up against the wall
[pfft] up against the wall
[pfft] up against the wall
The old brown cow went
[pfft] up against the wall
The wall was covered in
Shit, shit, shit 		HE'S THE MEANEST
(To the tune of: ?)

He's the meanest
He sucks the horse's penis
He's the meanest
he's the horse's ass

Ever since he found it
All he does is pound it

He's the meanest
He's the horse's ass 		WHY WAS SHE BORN
(To the tune of: ?)

Why was she born so beautiful
Why was she born at all
She's no fuckin' use to anyone
She's no fuckin' use at all

She may be a joy to her mother
But she's a pain in the asshole to me
YOU'RE STUPID
(To the tune of: ?)

You're stupid
You're stupid
You're really fuckin' dumb
If it wasn't for your mother
You'd be a spot of cum 		SOLDIER SONG
(To the tune of: ?)

Asshole, asshole
A soldier I will be
To piss, to piss
Two pistols on her knee
For cunt, for cunt
For country and for queen
Asshole, asshole
Asshole, asshole
A soldier I will be 		TRUE BLUE
(To the tune of: ?)

Here's to [hasher]
He's true blue
He's a hasher
Through and through
He's a piss pot
So they say
And he'll never go to heaven
Cause he went the other way
PUBLICLY PISSED ON
(To the tune of: ?)

He oughta be publicly pissed on
He oughta be publicly shot
He oughta be tied to a urinal
And left there to fester and rot 		PARTY COCK
(To the tune of: Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO)

Party cock is in your mouth tonight
[mumbled] Everybody just have a good time 		YOUR LEFT LEG
(To the tune of: ?)

Put your left leg over my shoulder
Put your right leg over my shoulder
[la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la]
THE HARES
(To the tune of: ?)

And the hares, and the hares
And the hares of dicky-di-do
Hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a little shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

And the hares, and the hares
And the hares of dicky-di-do
Hang down to her knees 		SHITTY TRAIL
(To the tune of: Mickey Mouse)

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail, it sucked
Shitty trail, it really sucked
The motherfuckers laid a shitty trail

Now's the time for you to pay for all our misery
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L 		IT'S A SMALL DICK
(To the tune of: It's A Small World)

Well it isn't long
And it isn't thick
It gets hard to slow
And it cums too quick
It gets lost in her twat
But it's all that he's got
It's a small dick after all

It's a small dick after all
It's a small dick after all
And it's always limp from alcohol
It's a small, small dick
20 TOES
(To the tune of: ?)

There's a game called 20 toes
And it's played all over town
The women play with 10 toes up
The men with 10 toes down, down, down 		DOWN DOWN SONG
(To the tune of: ?)

This is your down down song
It isn't very long
Drink it down, down, down 		ZIGGY ZAGGY
(To the tune of: ?)

Ziggy zaggy, ziggy zaggy, oy oy oy
Ziggy zaggy, ziggy zaggy, oy oy oy
BULLSHIT
(To the tune of: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)

Bullshit, bullshit
It all sounds like bullshit to me
To me
Bullshit, bullshit
It all sounds like bullshit to me 		DONNIE THE RETARD
(To the tune of: Frosty The Snowman)

Donnie the retard
Had an 8 pound melon head
He was five foot three and he said to me
Hiii, I'm Dooonnnnnniiieee 		DOWN, DOWN, DOWN YOUR BEER
(To the tune of: Row, Row, Row Your Boat)

Down, down, down your beer
To pay for your crime
Quit complaining about the taste
There's no sperm this time
JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON
(To the tune of: Lookin' Out My Back Door by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

I just got out of prison
My asshole still a jizzin'
Thinkin' 'bout the friends
I left behind in cellblock four

They raped me in the showers
It must have been for hours
Now there's goo-goo-goo
Comin' out my back door 		MEET THE HASHERS
(To the tune of: The Flinstones)

Hashers, meet the hashers
They're the biggest drunks in history
From the Friday Fukov Hash
They're the leaders in debauchery

Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years
Watch them, as they drink up all the beers

When you're with the hashers
You'll always drink it down, down
Drink it down, down
Drink it down, down, down 		SHITONYA
(To the tune of: ?)

Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya
In Russia it means I love you
If I had my way I'd shitonya all day
Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya

Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya
In Russia it means I love you
If I had my way I'd pissonya all day
Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya

Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya
In Russia it means I love you
If I had my way I'd cumonya all day
Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya
BORN ILLEGITIMATE
(To the tune of: ?)

All australians are born illegitimate
Born illegitimate, born illegitimate
All australians are born illegitimate
Bastards through and through

They ain't got no birth certificate
Birth certificate, birth certificate
They ain't got no birth certificate
Bastards through and through

They don't know who their daddy is
Who their daddy is, who their daddy is
They don't know who their daddy is
Bastards through and through

They all think they're aboriginals
Aboriginals, aboriginals
They all think they're aboriginals
Bastards through and through

Their mothers are dirty fuckin' whores
Dirty fuckin' whores, dirty fuckin' whores
Their mothers are dirty fuckin' whores
Bastards through and through 		RULE BRITANNIA
(To the tune of: ?)

Rule britannia, marmalade and jam
5 chinese firecrackers in your asshole
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang

Rule britannia, marmalade and jam
3 chinese firecrackers in your asshole
Bang, bang, bang

Rule britannia, marmalade and jam
1 chinese firecracker in your asshole
Bang 		SPACIOUS THIGHS
(To the tune of: America The Beautiful)

You're beautiful with spacious thighs
And freshly shaven pubes
With nipples so erect and hard
On a pair of luscious boobs
Oh harriette, sweet harriette
Please spread your legs for me
And wrap my wood in something good
Before you have to pee
GET A LIFE
(To the tune of: William Tell Oerture)

Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, life, life 		WHAT A WANK
(To the tune of: William Tell Oerture)

What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
WEINER BREATH
(To the tune of: ?)

Who's got weiner breath?
She's got weiner breath
Who's got weiner breath?
She's got weiner breath
Cause she's been suckin' that ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Suckin' that ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Suckin' that knob like corn on the cob
Suckin' that ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling 		BROTHER HASHERS
(To the tune of: Ach Du Lieber Augustin)

Here's to brother hasher, brother hasher, brother hasher
Here's to brother hashers, may he chug-a-lug
He's happy, he's jolly, he's fucked up by golly
Here's to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug
So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here's to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug 		WHIP IT OUT AT THE BALL GAME
(To the tune of: Take Me Out To The Ball Game)

Whip it out at the ball game
Wave it round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjacks
I don't care if you give it a whack
Cause it's beat your meat at the ball game
If you don't cum it's a shame
Cause it's one, two, you're covered in goo
At the old ball game
MY NAME IS JACK

My name is Jack, I'm a necrophiliac,
I fuck dead women, and I fill 'em full of jism,
I get frustrated, when they're cremated,
Cause try as I must, I can't fuck dust!

My name is Gus, I'm incestuous,
I fucked my mother, and buggered my brother,
But when they die, I will not cry,
Cause just like Jack, I'm a necrophiliac!

My name is Kyle, I'm a pedophile,
I fuck little boys, I get 'em with toys,
When I have a son, I'll have some fun,
Cause just like Gus, I'm incestuous!

My name is Nick, I'm a narcoleptic,
I ... ZZZZZZZzzzzzz 		SWING LOW
(To the tune of: ?)

Swing low sweet chariot
Cuming for to carry me home
Swing low sweet chariot
Cuming for to carry me home

I looked over Jordan
What did I see?
Cuming for to carry me home
A band of angels
Cuming after me
Cuming for to carry me home

If you get there
Before I do
Cuming for to carry me home
Tell all my friends
I'll be cuming too
Cuming for to carry me home 		MY GRANDFATHER'S COCK (To the tune of: My Grandfather's Clock)

My grandfather's cock was too long for his pants
And it dragged several feet on the floor
It was longer by half than the old man himself
And it weighed near a hundred pounds more

He's a horn on the morn of the day he was born
It was always his pleasure and pride
But it dropped, shrank, never to rise again
When the old man died

Ninety years without cracking it
(What a cock, what a cock)
He spent his life whacking it
(What a cock, what a cock)

But it dropped, shrank, never to rise again
When the old man died
HISASHIBURI
(To the tune of: Ach Du Lieber Augustin)

Oh hisashiburi, hisashiburi, hisashiburi
Oh hisashiburi, they're with us tonight
So drink chug-a-lug, drink chug-a-lug
Drink chug-a-lug, drink chug-a-lug
Oh hisashiburi, they're with us tonight 		DOUGH-RAY-ME
(To the tune of: Do-Re-Mi)

Dough, the stuff that buys me beer
Ray, the guy that brings me beer
Me, the guy that drinks the beer
Far, a long, long way to beer
So, let's have another beer
La, la, la, la, la, la beer
Tea, no thanks I'm having beer
Which brings us back to down, down, down 		WHY ARE WE WAITING
(To the tune of: ?)

Why are we waiting, could be fornicating
Oh why are we waiting so fucking long
Why are we waiting, could be masturbating
Oh why are we waiting so fucking long
FUCK OFF
(To the tune of: Auld Lang Syne)

Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off
Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off
Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off
Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off 		HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(To the tune of: Happy Birthday)

Happy birthday, fuck you
Happy birthday, fuck you
Happy birthday, fuck you
Happy birthday, fuck you 		MOSHI MOSHI
(To the tune of: London Bridge Is Falling Down)

Moshi, moshi, anone
Anone, anone
Moshi, moshi, anone
Asshole-desuka?
LIKE A VIRGIN
(To the tune of: Like A Virgin by Madonna)

Like a virgin
Fucked for the very first time
Like a virgin 		AYATOLLAH
(To the tune of: ?)

Ayatollah
Ayatollah, ayatollah
Ayatollah
Ayatollah, ayatollah 		ZULU WARRIOR
(To the tune of: ?)

Drink it down you Zulu Warrior
Drink it down you Zulu Chief, Chief, Chief
Ah Zuma, Zuma, Zuma
Ah Zuma, Zuma, hey
SALLY IN THE ALLEY
(To the tune of: Reuben And Rachel)

Sally in the alley sifting cinders
Lifted up her leg and farted like a man
Wind from her ass blew out six windows
Cheeks of her ass went blam, blam, blam 		FLIP HER OVER
(To the tune of: If You're Happy And You Know It by Dr. Alfred B. Smith)

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, that's her asshole not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over 		FLIP HIM OVER
(To the tune of: If You're Happy And You Know It by Dr. Alfred B. Smith)

If your boyfriend tastes like shit, flip him over
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, flip him over
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, that's his asshole not his dick
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, flip him over
FRB SONG

They say you were the fastest,
You won the hash today.
You're not so fast you bastard,
You shortcut all the way.
You never even saw the trail,
What will the others say?
They'll all say you're lucky,
But we all know you're gay. 		HARRIETTE

Well, the wiggle on her ass could make a dead man cum,
And the nipples on her tits are as big as my thumb.
She's a mean motherfucker,
She's a great cocksucker,
She's a harriette!
And she goes down, down, down, down. 		SEX POT
(To the tune of: I'm a Little Teapot)

She's a little sex pot
Short and stout
These are her handles
This is her spout
When she gets all worked up
Hear her shout
Bend me over
And eat me out